[Music] So, 41% of couples with debt say that they argue about money. But get this, 25% of couples who are debt-free say they still argue about money. So, it kind of proves no matter your relationship or financial status, money is complicated and it affects our relationships, specifically romantic relationships. So today I'm telling you when, how, and why to talk about money with your significant other. And I'm also sharing four financial red flags to watch out for if you're dating. So first, let's talk about the why. So as we mentioned earlier, like money is an issue in relationships.
And so if you know that going in and knowing that it's one of the leading causes of divorce in America today, you'll be like, "Okay, that's a problem. So we should probably talk about that." That's the why. So, it's not that you're going to sit there and interrogate someone on your first date about finances, but it is to say, yeah, this is a big issue in life and if we are dating and we are in a relationship or even if you're married, like we need to talk about the big things in life and money is one of those. Okay, so let's talk about the when. So, it naturally hopefully will come up in your dating relationship, especially if you see a future with someone. If it's getting more serious over time, my prayer is that your relationship has a level of depth and commonality and that your conversations just aren't about the weather, right? You are actually talking about real life stuff.
Cuz if you're thinking, "Yeah, this is probably going to be a partner for me for the rest of my life." Like, we need to talk about family. We need to talk about kids and discipline. We need to talk about spirituality, we need to talk about money, right? So when is I would say yeah to as as the relationship gets serious and it if it hasn't been brought up then it needs to. All right, before we chat about financial red flags, here's how I would bring up the topic of money if it doesn't organically happen in conversation. Again, as the relationship's getting more serious, just to be like, "Hey, you know, there's some things like I don't I don't know about you." Like, I would love to know X, Y, and Z, right? So, I would I would love to know like how you see money.
Like, I'd love to know what you think about debt. I would love to know like do you find security with money? Um, like do you want some savings? Like, how do you function with money? Do you feel like you're stressed with it? I don't know. just be curious about this topic with the person and again I would say as it goes later the more specific the better. So understanding like numbers, how much debt do they have, how much money do they make? Like all of those things should be transparent if you're getting to this point of getting engaged later on. And so be curious always, right? Ted Lasso, which I think it was a Walt Whitman quote originally, be curious, not judgmental. And that's how I would approach it. And I would approach it again that same spirit with like your family. Like, hey, I would love to know like when you're growing up, like what were your parents like? Right? It's just this idea of curiosity about the person that you're with. By the way, if you are engaged or already married, FPU is something that every couple should go through together.
Financial Peace University is our financial course that helps people get on the same page when it comes to money and your money habits and that you're working towards a financial goal together. So, if you've not checked this out, it is like one of the best things that we have at Ramsey Solutions. I'll put a link down below so you guys can go through it together. All right, let's talk about some red flags, especially when you are dating. Red flag number one when it comes to money is that they avoid the topic of money at all costs. Like if they do not want to talk about it, that's a red flag because why? I want to know why. Is it because you're fearful about the subject? Are you embarrassed about it? Are you shameful about it? Do you kind of see it as like this is my issue, not yours, which means they're not going to be a great teammate later on in life? Like if they just avoid talking about money, then that also means they're probably going to avoid talking about other things in life and you're just not going to get to this commonality in this depth of your relationship that you need to be if you're going to be married to this person.
So major red flag. Red flag number two is that their money beliefs or habits are extreme. So I talk about that people have money tendencies, right? So let's just, you know, we'll talk about spenders and savers, right? We all naturally are going to lean one way or the other. I am a natural spender. Winston is a natural saver. So like that will always be there.
But if I spent every dollar that I made in my paychecks and just spent, spent, spent, and even spent more than what I had, right? There's probably some red flags there of like interesting. Can you not like rein it in a little bit and like make sure that important things are covered like food, like all of that, right? If you're not wanting any any level of margin in your life with money because you have to spend everything you make, like again, red flags. Maybe you're not making enough. Maybe there's like not a large income coming in and your expenses are high. you know that that's one thing to like kind of talk through okay how do we adjust that but if again if you are extreme on the side of spending red flag but I would also say the same is true with saving if you have an extreme saver who lives their life with a scarcity mentality they end up hoarding money because like that is like that is their emotion towards money is like I don't want to do anything I just want to hoard hoard hoard because they feel safe to me major red flag because there going to be things in life that you're going to want to do you're going to want to travel you're going to want to go to a nice dinner eventually like you're going to want to do these things.
And if they don't want to spend money, then there is something going on within them if it's that extreme. So again, we're going to have our tendencies, but the extreme side is what I would pay attention to. All right, real quick, let's talk about a major green flag when it comes to protecting your personal information online, and that is Delete Me. You guys, Delete Me is an incredible resource that goes in and removes your information from online data broker websites. I love Delete Me. It is a service that I have and I use and it has saved me over 60 hours of going in and looking for my information and removing it. And so that is hours saved for me. And that means I'm going to get less spams and scams sent my way, which I love. So you can save 20% on an annual deleteme plan, which ends up costing you less than $10 a month. So go to joindeme.com/rachel or click the link in the description. Red flag number three is they don't have a spirit of generosity. So generosity is something that I would be looking towards.
And again, this isn't like they're giving, you know, everyone a dollar that's asking. Like I'm not talking about that, but there's like this level of like, hey, I'm going to take care of this person or like you had a great waiter waitress at a restaurant. It's like, hey, I'm going to give them an extra tip here or hey, I'm going to help out my friend uh because they're moving and so Saturday morning I'm going to be with them helping them. like whatever the the idea is of selflessness, it's a beautiful attribute to have especially if you're going to be married to that person because working together and serving each other I think is such a key part in a happy relationship and a happy marriage and if someone is not being generous and I would say even with their money I would have a little bit of a red flag and know why like what is going on because it ends up being a heart issue and as you start winning with money like that part of you is magnified and so if they are not someone that is giving and serving again with money with their time in conversation even with other people and seeing people and valuing people like if that isn't their spirit I would have a red flag and then the last red flag is that your values don't align.
So when it comes to handling money again you both have to come to the table and understand like you both are going to have values around it and if those values are different then it's going to be a lot of butdding heads and now you can go about these values differently again I am a experienced person Winston loves buying actual stuff I love you know the quantity of things he likes the quality like we're going to have different tendencies but are do your values align you know your everyday lifestyle your future planning, retirement, kids, how much you want to travel, how much you want to be giving, like all of these things that we look at as values, do they align? And if they don't, then again, it's going to be really, really tough. So, you know, living debtree, I think, is one that I've heard a lot of people talk about. And if someone like doesn't care about that and they're great going into debt for, you know, their business or, you know, living on credit cards or like whatever it is that it doesn't bother them, that is going to cause a restlessness within you.
If you are someone that values a debt-free life and that's going to end up again crossing those lines. It's going to be really, really hard to navigate. So, I would make sure your values align. Now, one bonus tip is to remember that when it comes to money, opposites attract. So, we talked about this. You're going to be different and that's not bad, but again, the values, the communication, all of that needs to be aligned. Now, we've covered a lot today, which has been so great. But one thing we did not talk about is my controversial stance on combining finances. So, click here if you want to check that out, or if you're listening on podcast, click the link below.
All right, you guys. Remember to take control of your money and create a life you love..
