[Music] hey you guys so today I'm going to be reacting to a Tik Tok where a mom is sharing her thoughts on being a vinmo mom instead of a classroom mom and this topic really hits home if you have little ones since again there's so much that affects your life and your money and your family and if it does which this topic is takes all three of those into account it is worth talking about so I'm going to listen to what she says and then I want to share some of my thoughts and kind of talk through some ways that you can show up for your kids and your budget and have that balance and if you enjoy this conversation make sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming episodes all right let's watch this Tik Tok I don't know about anyone else out there but meet the teacher is super stressful because I do not want to be involved at all I like I will make sure my kids obviously like do their homework get to school on time and stuff but I don't want to be on PTO PTA room mom Team Mom I don't want to do any of that and I start getting real stressed when they start asking for volunteers and I'm like no I know they're judging me because I'm not raising my hand but I don't want to come in I don't want to set up if the room mom needs money for everyone to participate fine I'll demo money right over I do not want to be I don't want to set up for it I I don't want to do it so today was very stressful but I successfully avoided all of that today all of that I avoided all of it I didn't get asked one time to be a room mom a te- mom I even told one of the coaches today that I am a VMO mom so oh my gosh that's funny okay so my initial thoughts are anytime anything is just like massively extreme I'm always a little bit like okay let's like simmer down like the it could be polarizing right so I'm sure people had strong reactions to that because she is on more of an extreme like I don't want anything to do with it I will VMO I don't want anything to do with it um versus other people are like oh no I'm I want to be in every single thing that my kids are doing and I want to be as involved as possible oh my gosh I'm here here here right and I think both ends I don't know I'm finding in life like balance is really key but I know different seasons are going to call for different things and I have definitely been a vinmo mom in seasons for sure like self admittedly never been a room mom I haven't uh but I've started to do more and more which we'll talk about later in this video but again uh I can see how this uh probably ruffled some feathers for people now before I you know say more I actually wanted to do a poll of you guys to see okay you know how do you identify are you more of a classroom mom or a vinmo mom and 47% of you said classroom mom so handson 53% said vinmo Mom again I'm happy to send money to support that way but I'm not going to come in and do things so I mean that's pretty 50/50 which I I don't know why I was shocked by that I kind of thought there would be like one you know higher than the other but you know I guess it makes sense which brings me to this point can we just cancel mom guilt and Mom shaming once and for all like depending on what side of the aisle that people you know tend to lean towards probably because of their season of life or their giftings what they enjoy don't beat up the other person for that like it's it's crazy and that's what so makes me so angry is that Mom it's like oh mom is expected do X Y and Z again on both ends and it's like listen there there are dads in the equation too right and I know there's been Seasons like where Winston has gone on field trips with the kids cuz I have had to work or like whatever it looks like you know there are things that are going to happen in life on both sides of the spectrum so don't sit there and just like bicker at each other just loosen up you guys regardless of where you naturally stand because again we all have different gifts and capabilities and that's what makes the community work and showing up for your kids though I think is a major win and that can look a lot of different ways so before I share the four key things that every parent should remember I want to talk about one of our sponsors delete me delete me is so great you guys because there are scammers everywhere today and it's amazing how much of your information personal information is out on the internet and scams can come up and I'll admit it I have fallen for one or two of them but that is why I use and recommend delete me because again gives me such peace of mind they go in and remove all your personal info so this is like your home address phone number and more from hundreds of data broker websites helping protect you from spammers scammers and online thieves and potentially saving you a lot of time and money so you guys make sure to go to join delet me.com Rael for 20% off that's join delet me.com Rachel and do this because again having a service like this in the world we live in with the internet and how much our information is out there it is worth it all right here are four things to remember next time you catch yourself maybe getting a little competitive with like you know a different mom in your world and you're like oh remember number one one is not better than the other okay so like on both ends it's not that like one is getting it right and the other's not and so that's what happens I think sometimes we think how we behave and what we believe and what we want everyone should be like that and if they're not they're somehow doing it wrong and that's just not true so me for example I've never been a room mom I'm not on PTO I vinmo for sure I will go in cuz my girls love it and Charles does too so I do it for him if there are opportunities to volunteer and I'm able to plan it out I will do that and this is everything from like being a class reader or going in and you know helping the teacher do some stuff so I do that a few times a year it's not a ton but it's enough because my kids love when we show up for school and they've asked me Caroline has specifically asked me Mom will you please come and be the class reader one day so there are things in that that you're like okay I'm going to do that because my kids are asking and and and it's great and I do want to be more involved and I enjoy it and it's fine now my sister on the other hand she is part of everything you can imagine at our kids school our kids go to the same school same Elementary School it's precious and so sweet but sweet Denise I mean she's she is on PTO she does all the fundraising here we had like a Friday fun night and Denise like had the volunteer t-shirt cuz she's running different station I mean Denise is involved we love her for that she enjoys it too she really does like she loves it so again I'm not better than her she's not better than me it's all great all right number two is to know what is actually helpful so again the idea of volunteering is to help out the teacher I mean that that's going to be it and so pay attention to what they need and do your best to pitch in I did this thing for my fourth grader and the teacher even told me she's like I'm probably giving you the worst thing to do and I'm so sorry and it was just like this thing of divide out all the stuff and I was really happy to do it honestly cuz I thought she's sitting here teaching all day to these kids and having to go home and not only grade papers but do all this other stuff like no I I can do this so again making sure that you are doing and serving how the teacher or the school needs it I think is really really key number three is not about the school it's actually at home and that is being present at home that is the top priority okay so regardless of whether you volunteer or you're room mom or what vinmo mom like regardless of where you stand on all of this being a present parent is really key and that can look a lot of different ways again sometimes it's volunteering sometimes it's sending money but your relationship with your kids that's what it's about and being interested in them knowing them asking questions being in tune with your kids is so important and so many parents I think can even justify in this situation like well I do so much at their school like they'll know or are you kidding like look how much we pay for over here I mean your kids don't I mean at the end of the day they care about your relationship with them and that is top priority regardless of if you're a vinmo parent or a room parent right and number four is to check your identity because you want to make sure that you're doing either one of these out of a healthy Place meaning if you're on one extreme and you're serving down to the bone and you're doing it from an unhealthy place because you're wanting you know to you want approval and you know you're doing it from a bad motivation that can't be good for you long term and then the other end right sometimes I think even that video I'm not saying this about her but sometimes there can be this like well I just send money and like oh my I don't like want to do anything with my kids like you can start to be prideful on that end as well so making sure your motivation is healthy just knowing hey I you know I work full-time I'm not able to go and be at my kids stuff and I'm not going to feel bad about that so I'm going to send money like like there there's something about the motivation of that end as well that's really important to keep a pulse on so regardless of how you interact with your kids and their activities and their schooling and all of it making sure that's coming from a healthy place but when it comes to our kids overall their character and who they're becoming is really key Meg merer always says that you're not just trying to raise good kids you're raising kids to be good adults right so we want them to thrive in life and that means the character of who they are is so key and so generosity contentment learning to give and be generous and to share like all of this is so so important and so that's why I've written a couple of kids books around these topics cuz I think it is really really key make sure to click the link below to check that out and share this episode with anyone who needs some encouragement of all the mom expectations out there we want to just flatten that give some balance to the conversation and if you think that this conversation is a little controversial well you haven't seen anything yet check out my episode on my most hated Financial advice which is eating at home who knew so I'll leave a link in the description as well remember you guys to take control of your money and create a life you love
