[Music] well hey you guys so listen family is one of those things in life that it is a gift it really is and in order to have that gift be a gift that keeps on giving we want to make sure that things are in line and boundaries possibly have to be set and I think the older we get right as you come into adulthood when it comes to your parents specifically and maybe your adult siblings there are times that you have to create B boundaries and that could be for many different reasons but let's talk about the money side of it today so today I want to talk about three important boundaries that you may want to set when it comes to your family and money but stick on to the end because there is one time that I think money can definitely be in the mix when it comes to your family but first if you haven't subscribed to this Channel Make sure you do so that you never miss another episode like this one all right first and foremost let's talk about the negative effects when it comes to owing someone money especially when you are related to them so the idea of debt in general is something that is really difficult and a big stressor on people's lives like when you owe hundreds or thousands of dollars of debt every single month that's income that you could be using to you know spend to give to save to do whatever you want with it and so being able to have autonomy over your money is really crucial but when you're in debt that autonomy is taken from you because someone else is telling you where your paycheck has to go and it does leave you in a powerless position when it comes to your money so flipping the script and when you are out of debt and you don't owe anyone money then it gives you the ability to probably have way more margin when it comes to your budget uh but also this feeling of yeah I don't owe anyone anything so if something happens I don't have all these you know payments that I have to pay that people are waiting on you are free and clear of that so debt in general can be a stressor but when you owe money to your family well that makes it pretty complicated so here are three rules that I live by when it comes to family and money number one do not borrow from your family period just never a good idea because we always see that the relationship suddenly changes when you borrow money from a an in-law from a sibling from a parent things change in that relationship there is something about it that all of a sudden when you owe them money and you go down and you have you know holidays together and maybe you're spending money on Christmas gifts or you're you know spending money on an airline ticket to go somewhere with your family when you owe someone money usually they're looking and being like okay well that's nice you did that but you still owe us money it changes the relationship and when it goes south if you're not able to pay then all of a sudden so much conflict comes into the relationship as well and we have heard countless stories of this going side ways so it's usually just a pretty clear rule just don't borrow money from family number two don't lend money to family so if you are actually the one that's being asked hey can we borrow X Y and Z I would say no if you do not have the ability to give it if you have to lend it and have them pay you back I would not do the deal because again it's going to change the relationship there is something about like okay yeah you know I I gave my brother and sister-in-law I'm making this if I didn't do this but you know $33,000 cuz they needed help in X Y and Z and they said theyd pay it back but they're terrible with money and they're not going to pay it back but we actually need the money now and I mean I'm having to ask for it but they don't have it and it just becomes this like super awkward situation so again it's not worth the relationship uh complications that come with it so do not lend and then number three on that same vein don't cosign either when you have to coign Al loone or when someone needs you to coign a loan that means the bank does not trust that person that's taking out the loan when a bank gives someone money they usually run a you know a credit report they look at their credit score and they say okay are you a trustworthy person and if they're not the bank's going to say okay go find a trustworthy person to get on the loan because we don't trust that you're going to pay it back and in good meaning and in good heart people like oh sure I will help you out and cosign well if the bank can't even trust someone when it comes to their debt it's probably going to be you know the conclusion is going to be that you're going to end up with the loan and we see this time and time again the person who needed the co-signing you know they don't have the ability to pay for whatever reason they're terrible with money they lost a job and then you now owe the money as the co-signer it is now your debt and so what ended up being what you thought was possibly a good thing ends up really harming you in the process so do not coign now as I mentioned before there is one exception to all of these rules but first I want to tell you about one of our sponsors delete me so I saw a headline recently that really caught my attention that onethird of the US population's background info is now public so for 115 million of us data breaches mean that our info is just out there for anyone to find and this is like our names and addresses and phone numbers and so much more and this is why I love delete me because they find and remove your information from hundreds of data broker websites that buy sell and trade your personal data so take control of your online privacy with delete me an individual delete me plans start as low as $9 a month so sign up today at join delet me.com Rachel for 20% off or click the link in the description all right here's the good news when it comes to family and money if you have the ability and you have the money and someone needs help give it yeah generosity is a powerful tool and it trumps all the other rules of like oh I want to help but I can't cuz I got to I got to let them borrow it they got to pay back they got to have this or that it this this doesn't change the relationship if you have the ability to pay and you have the ability to give and you really do believe yeah I'm not enabling some sort of behavior or some kind of negative effect like I'm genuinely able to help them in this situation then what a gift what a gift and you can freely give not expecting anything in return and that is part of why Building Wealth is so crucial cuz we talk about this all the time you guys that when you live like no one else later you get to live and give like no one else and that once you're out of debt and you have an emergency fund and you're building a life for yourself and you have a really strong fin Financial Foundation like you are able to do some amazing things I was just talking to a lady today actually and she had two homes because she was renting one out and all this and she's like but I want to sell it but she made insane Equity it was like like $350,000 she was going to get an equity of one of the homes and so she wants to pay off her primary home and she was like my parents have $60,000 left on home and I think I just want to write a check and pay it off for them do you think that's okay and I was like yeah yeah that's what you get like when you're wise with money and you and you have the situation like you're able to do that and and she was she was able to afford it and she was fine with retirement and everything and she had her bases covered which means she could go above and beyond to do it and what a gift right what a gift now you do have to have some discernment in this because you don't want to make a situation awkward or odd right so it's going to be very dependent on your Rel relationship with your family what what the situation is and all of it but when you're Discerning those situations and you can say oh yeah this is absolutely a beautiful gift and a great thing that will help them genuinely help them then and you're able to do it do it it is one of the best things that you can do with your Mone is to help the people around you that you love so if the idea of being able to live and give generously feels impossible then let me tell you when you want to get started controlling your money one of the best ways to start that is with a monthly budget and if if you have not tried every dollar you can actually download it and create a budget for free I'll put a link in the description but make sure you do that because budgeting is the first step to be able to know where you're where you are financially so that you can be generous and to hear more creative ideas on finding margin in your budget check out my episode five Frugal habits to cut your expenses in half coming up next and share this with a friend who might appreciate some tips on healthy Financial boundaries all right remember to take control of your money and create a life you love
